TURNING OFF THE "WOE IS ME"

TURNING OFF THE WOE IS ME SYNDROME

 One of the lines we always heard in sales training was that " every "no" gets you one step closer to a yes". Think of it, every time you experience rejection, you should REJOICE! Rejoice because you are one step closer to reaching your sales quota -- finding your dream customer --finding your dream mate --or finding your dream home. One step closer to reaching your goal, whatever that might be. While it may be a very positive way of looking at the logistics of making a sale, it's not always as easy to insulate our ego's against the battle wounds.

 

Robert Schuller once said "The good news is that the bad news can be turned into good news when you change your attitude." So how can we build an attitude that will insulate our ego from a Woe is me attitude and boost our self-esteem?

 

1. Recognize the lesson. Life is a learning process.  There are many reasons for things happening. Some rejections we provoke, some just happen. Learn from each incidence -don't take them personally.

 

2. Face yourself in the mirror and accept the amazing person you are. Come to terms with all the potential you have.  Focus on your accomplishments.  I had a friend in grade school who would look in the mirror and sing:  "There she is, Miss America".  Nurture your ego, it defines your character.

3. Our thoughts dictate our actions. What type of thoughts are you thinking? It is the law of the self-fulfilled prophecy. If things aren't going your way, do a self-esteem check. You may discover you need to change your mind script. It may be time to start encouraging yourself to the things you fear and lay down that barrier you have built to shield you from others. Use words like "I can", I will, and instead of life being a struggle, look at it as an opportunity. Start replacing  negative words & negative perspectives with positive ones. 

4.  Something stuck in your craw? Always fighting the inevitable?   Adapt the theme song from the movie Frozen:  Let it go!   Stop focusing on self.  Move on.

 

5. Define your life purpose. Resolve to evolve for good.

 

    The very first condition of lasting happiness is that a life should be full of purpose, aiming at something outside of self.

                                                                                                                                        ... Hugh Black

VIEW INTO THE NOW

Recently a Clerk confided her frustration to me: I can’t even provide customer service, they walk in with a phone to their ear and are oblivious that I am even here. Not too long ago when a Mom tried to talk to her 4-year daughter, the reply from the 4-year old was: Not now, I’m on the phone.  Wow, what a wake up call.  In a time when we think we are more connected than ever, the truth just might be, we are creating a world of unprecedented disconnect from those around us.   It might be time we all stop shutting people out and take a look at how relationships and lives are being distanced from one another – often from those who are most important in our life.

 Tip for managing your C-time:

-       Use good judgment. Just because you can connect, doesn’t mean you should

-       Are you using texting as an avoidance tool?

-       Need to make a work connection? Apologize to whomever you are with. Make it short.

-       Schedule C-time out of your personal time, not family time.

-       Out and about? Pack it away. BE in the moment. Stay alert to the world around you.

Life is fleeting.  Don’t miss it.

SPEAK CLEARLY FOR BETTER RESULTS

How often do you give a direction or advice and find yourself frustrated because the other person acts like they haven't got a clue?

The result: You get frustrated.  You find yourself reacting to circumstances that failed your expectations-- and it just might be 'self-inflicted' frustration. We’ve all heard of the dangers of the word “assume” – yet we continually fall into the trap of doing just that.  We assume the other person knows what we are thinking.   The other scenario is that we are rush and don't take the time to choose the correct wording that accurately defines what we mean. If  communicated better in the first place it would have positioned everyone for a win/win situation.  

The next time you are talking with your colleague (your spouse or children) be sure to verbalize those outcomes that are important to you. Be specific. Most of us are not mind readers. Beware of sounding like you are giving an order. Be aware of your tone of voice and speaking pace. Slow down, speak calmly.   Put yourself in a 'team' mindset.    It might sound like this:

• We need to be able to count on… (results)…to assure that   (whatever) happens , it means you will have to…..
• Discuss potential road blocks and what alternatives would better achieve the appropriate response.

           Can we count on you to achieve this?   How much time do you think you will need?   

 

• The next time this situation occurs, you need to ….
• Provide specific examples as to possible sentences and check how they might sound.

          Is there any reason you would not be able to do that?

• In order to  better meet project deadlines, there are a few things we  need:……List and give timelines.

              Then follow up with a request for a progress report to ensure everyone is on task.