The Performance Pro

When to Stop Laughing

2011-04-04T16:27:00.000-07:00

April is humor month and I was preparing my newsletter on humor when one of history’s horrific devastations took place in Japan. I guess it could be titled: A day that laughter stopped. One might say the same of 9/11—yet we now know of stories where in the midst of the dust and smoke & nightmare of those trying to survive, there are stories of displays of humor by victims. We know historically it’s not uncommon EMT’s to release a humorous comment at scenes of horrific accidents. In tragedies so unimaginable, the psychological release of ‘a funny’ somehow helps them to cope and continue to function. There are times when laughter stops—out of respect for another, out of despair, and out of a heavy heart of the human condition. Likewise, combined with good judgment and kindness, there are times when an appropriate humorous observation might be just what the doctor ordered.

Laughter is a gift we’ve been given. It helps us to relieve pain, stress, to cope, heal. Ironically, Japan has been a global leader in using laughter yoga to promote workplace wellness—with many organizations starting their workday with 15 minutes of laughter exercise.

Japanese medical research supports the belief and has been pursuing the possibilities that one may even be able to change their DNA through laughter. Therapeutic laughter will undoubtedly play a role to aid this nation in coping with their suffering and in their psychological and physical healing.

"A smile is the first step of a recovering heart."

Reaching Your 2011 Goals

2010-12-28T16:37:00.000-08:00

Consider your goals for 2011. Are they congruent with the message your image is sending?

Studies are showing that a few smart changes in image choices can reduce the number of conflicts between manager and employee; student and teacher; and even colleague to colleague.

Within 3 to 7 seconds of meeting you, others make a judgment as to your socio-economic status, your education level, and your desirability. Think of it, people make a subconscious judgment on whether they want to do business with you—buy your idea, recommendation, product or service.

Jack Paar once said, “Life is an obstacle course, too often, I am the obstacle.” When evaluating where you want to be five or ten years from now, what more could you be doing to project a better image of yourself along the way?

With the “Trend Mania” in the malls, it can be an expensive shopping nightmare to discover that the purchases you made are sabotaging the very things your dreams are made of, especially if you are in the corporate world. Here are some thoughts to help you on your next shopping trip:

- Consider the industry in which you work, strive to dress at the top of the appropriate dress code. If you dress out of the realm of expected attire, you will not be seen as a team player.
- Unless in an artsy or flamboyant industry, use fashion pieces in moderation
- Maintain straight, conservative lines.
- Suits still rank No. 1 for projecting professionalism. If business casual is appropriate, stick to monochromatic colors and subtle blends for higher impact.
- Guys, to step up your professionalism in a casual world, choose a sport coat, and a thin long sleeve mock turtleneck, tucked in, with a designer buckled belt.
- Check your shoes, are they sharp and spanking clean?
- Keep in mind that studies show women need to dress a notch above the guys to be seen as an equal.
- A good rule of thumb for all: Your clothes should not speak louder than you do.

Remember: "You are the billboard for the person you want to become."

WHAT'S IN YOUR CABINET?

2010-09-17T08:06:00.000-07:00

It seems everywhere we turn, someone is getting sick. Cancer, MS, Parkinson’s, ALS, and other diseases are flourishing. What is causing all of this? I’m thinking to myself, of course, pesticides & preservatives, -- and harmful electric rays. I had heard some years ago about hair dryers emitting the highest rate of dangerous rays of any household appliances. I remember thinking “eek- that’s my brain station I’m zapping!” and proceeded to tell my daughter to be sure to aim her dryer only at her hair, not her head (probably naively hoping that will be healthier for her).

One day as I was cleaning my house, I was pondering the question of a friend who had asked if I knew why more women had Mutliple Sclerosis than men. Interesting question. At the time, I was cleaning my house plants, of course, with no gloves. I became aware of the white filmy chemical that was dripping from them as I sprayed them, so I began applying it with a rag; a glance at the label; I noticed it said only to ‘keep out of reach of children”, h-m-m must be poison.

Then I went out and proceeded to clean our deck. I was beaming at the wonderful job the cleaner was doing, when I noticed the recommendation on the bottle referring to “wearing a respirator”!

Some time later, I was in the kitchen cleaning my counter with my Fantastik, I happened to see on that label where it said to “wash off food contact surfaces” after cleaning (how many of us do that?!)—oh yes, and if you get it on your clothing, you are remove the “contaminated” clothing & if it touches your skin you are to rinse with plenty of water for 15 to 20 minutes. (Somehow this isn’t sounding to so “fantastic” anymore.)

I wonder over the course of even 10 years how much my body has absorbed, through breathing, eating and touching. Add that to my hair dryer and all the other things that are in our life today. I think the Terrorists should just be patient, chill out and take a vacation. We are doing a good job of killing ourselves all on our own.

WHAT ARE WE DOING TO OUR CHILDREN?

2010-07-08T06:59:00.000-07:00

It’s the old “Monkey See, Monkey Do” – Garbage in, Garbage out” philosophies

We tell our child not to hit. Then we allow them to sit in front of a screen and train their brains to hit, abuse and kill. What kind of parents would do that? Not many if they understood the harm it was doing to their kids.

When an area of the brain called premotor cortex sees an action performed, it prepares to perform that same action. It’s what makes baby return mommy’s smile.

When one watches television or computer games, the same thing happens. If our children see violence and hostility, the mirror neurons in their brains practice those actions and a pathway is created. Our brains absorb what we watch and practice mirroring that activity.

How’s that for a scary thought? And, remember, this woud include all those sexual scenes and inuendos that we think the kids don't 'catch' too. For more on this and cyberstress: Read Joanne Cantor’s book “Conquering CyberOverload.”

"Part of our brain works hard to imitate what it sees."

What has your child watched today?

The healthy alternatives: Back to basics. ANY t-v/computer games should be regulated for appropriateness, limited, and be a privilege that needs to be earned. Set your rules. Require a certain amount of time each day for your child to develop their creativity and imagination by playing by themselves both indoors and outdoors. Give them specific chores that need to be done. Think of special projects for them; give them a bag of pipe cleaners to create things with, a butterfuly net, have them read a book, play an instrument, build things, learn to juggle, draw or write a letter to grandma that you will mail for them.

How to Drive Customers Away

2010-06-24T20:23:00.000-07:00

Customer Service—it can be the golden nugget to trigger customer loyalty or it can be a nightmare that drives a customers away.

The other day I was in a store buying flowers. I asked the young girl for some specific flowers that I did not see setting out. She smiled and kindly offered to run to the back and get what I needed.

When she brought them up to me, the owner came by and blew up at her snarling that these were not what I wanted. In a mean, upset tone, he said “If you (meaning the employee) had put the tags on the tray, you would have known that these weren’t right and he stomped off to get the right ones.

In a confronting, coarse manner, he managed to bring his employee to tears. Once out of ear shot, she was quick to say that she wasn’t going to be working there anymore. The owner wasn’t understanding and always belittled her in front of customers, embarrassing her and making her feel awful.

I felt myself being caught in the middle. I appreciated the owner’s dedication to giving me what I wanted but I did not appreciate the manner in which it was done. It goes to demonstrate that customer service is more than just the customer’s end result. It’s the entire journey.

A great question for your next Customer Service meeting —How can you make your customer service journey a more pleasant experience?

START A BURNT TOAST & JAM BOOK CLUB.

2010-02-08T11:47:00.000-08:00

"I LOVE this book!" acclaimed by Kim Murphy, Fox-6 TV

Looking for a great way to connect with some neighbors, friends and colleagues? We now have a Book Club Discussion Guide available as a free download at our website (http://www.kinza.net/). I've received numerous inquiries about an interest in a Burnt Toast & Jam Book Club. What a great idea! We even have an Invitation created for YOU to send to your guests! (www.kinza.net/index.html.

Perfect for friends, family and neighbors -- or how about a LUNCH ROOM Book club?

Take six weeks and each week discuss the happenings, meanings and personal relevancies of one of the six chapters. The book is guaranteed to provide fun and enlightening sessions. You will have laughter, and tears, as participants share their own heartfelt connections and thoughts. The Guide is a great tool for opening meaningful discussions. IT's FREE. The Guide download makes it easy for you! (and don't forget the tea and crumpets!)

(Books can be ordered at any book store, Amazon.com OR from http://www.kinza.net/ for discounts given on bulk orders /signed copies. Let us know your plans!

For 2010: Commit to an "I can Do It" Mindset

2009-12-30T08:28:00.001-08:00

Preparing for the New Year? Free yourself to the possibilities!
Think about what has held you down in the past, could it be the way
You think?

Holding onto negative things that happened in the past is a waste of energy and prolonged agony. In dwelling on the negatives, finding the excuses for not stepping into the future can come pretty easily. We tend to limit ourselves with which some call “stinkin thinkin”. Some of the most used excuses we use are:

1. I’ve never done it before
2. I’m not ready for that yet.
3. I’m doing all right without it.
4. I tried it once and it didn’t work.
5. It costs too much
6. That’s not my responsibility
7. It’s all someone else’s fault
8. I could ever do that
9. I’m not good enough
10. It won’t work anyway

Make a commitment to yourself to create a year of “I can’s” and “I will’s”. More than ever, these tough economic times create a challenge and the need for a willingness to step up to the plate. Believe in yourself, try new things, look for the good, and before you know it, you will have a “I can do it” mindset.

Grow Teams, Productivity & Profits with Laughter

2009-12-10T20:39:00.000-08:00

Laughter is serious business today. Researcher Chris Robert, a psychologist the University of Missouri at Columbia cites research showing that playing, having fun and laughing significantly impact cohesiveness and bonding among workers. The ability to laugh and make other people laugh has psychological affects on the body – causing people to become more bonded.

As a result of programs where I have engaged attendees in laugher exercises, and the development of their humor skills, I’ve seen first hand the positive outcomes. When blended with humor, even the heaviest lessons are perceived as being more acceptable and are more easily retained Humor positions people’s mindsets in an emotional zone where humans just naturally connect. I think we could say ‘the people who laugh together, stay together’ – or at least they remain connected in a very unique way.

Add to the rapport building that results from laughter, when one combines the physical and emotional impact, it’s no wonder that workplaces today are seeking to help their employees lighten up. We know people perform at higher levels when they are happy and well. Wellness research today shows that emotional stress is a bigger influence on the prediction of death from cancer and cardio-vascular conditions than smoking. Our stress is killing us!

Humor – especially joking around the job related issues —actually has a positive impact in the workplace. Of course, the key is that the laughter and humor must be kind, not hurtful. When used in this therapeutic manner, it generates a wellness sphere that spurs positivity and reduces stress, desk rage incidents, and leads to better over-all performance.

What will a sense of humor do for you? In addition to the cost savings on your organizations stress-related costs, and the fact that it will potentially keep you healthier and living longer, you will also find:

-- It’s a great tool for bridging the generation gaps
-- It frees the mind to be more creative, generating more great ideas.
-- People will be able to identify with you more easily
-- You’ll be seen as more real and even more likeable
-- You can use humor can bridge even the most difficult of topics & ease negotiations.
-- It aids in building trust
-- It generates team rapport
-- Others will start listening to you more.
-- Humor motivates, motivation increases productivity
-- People who enjoy work are less likely to call in sick.
-- Laughter reduces the harmful effects of stress on one's health.
-- It can alleviate pain and stress – and for that all will be grateful.

Stop the Worry Mongrels

2009-08-20T10:08:00.000-07:00

There are two things that increase with age—one is our waistline, the other is our worries. I’m still struggling with the waistline thing so let’s put that on hold. but hey, what about our senseless worries? Let’s get rid of them! It’s been said that 80% of what we worry about is worrying done about things over which we have no control anyway. Think about the things that you are stressed out about. How many do you actually have any control over?

A few years ago Bobby McFerrin had a smash hit called “Don’t Worry, Be Happy! He confesses it was actually a song about a need he had due to the enormous stress he was under at the time.
Worry takes energy. It causes stress. When you think of it- Worrying is like a rocking chair—it will give you something to do but you won’t get anywhere.

If you are carrying the heavy burden of unproductive worry around with you, decide today to toss those senseless worries away. Chance are they’ve taken up enough of your life. They can’t change the past, don’t let them ruin the present. Some tips to ease the burden:

1. Identify the worry mongrels. What drives you crazy with worry that you have no control over? Take those things and turn them over to a higher power. Free up your mind to focus
on those things you can do something about.

2. What are the things you can influence the outcome on? Identify those things. For those, make a concrete plan of things you are going to do that will impact a result. What do you need to do now in order to have 'no regrets' later? Make a plan and time line on exactly what you are going to do. It might be something as simple as writing a letter, learning how to text a child, making a phone call, or a more long term solution, i.e. funding a savings account, etc. Focus on that plan and become a 'doer'. Actually implementing a plan will replace any feelings of stress with the healthier feeling of satisfaction.
One woman I know has a granddaughter whom is estranged from her son and his family--which includes her. Her attempts to connect with the little girl have been thwarted which adds to the heartbreak. Still every year on the granddaughter's birthday, Grandma buys a little figurine or momento for her and is keeping them until the day that little girl grows up and one day searches for her roots. Whether this ever happens or not, it fills the need of the grandmother and assures that proof that her love was there should she need it one day to show her granddaughter.

Do you ever wake up at 3 a.m. with a worry mongrel in full force and can't get back to sleep?
Here's a great tip: Make an appointment with yourself for a time when you will continue to
think about the problem. "Tomorrow at 2:00 I will think more about this." You may need to
write down the time on a piece of paper next to your bed. This will 'park' it there and free your mind for rest.

If you have a great tip to share, let us know.

Mastering the "Eye" Challenge

2009-06-12T13:51:00.000-07:00

Of all the communication skills taught, it would seem that learning to look someone in the eye is one of the hardest to do. It's just doesn't seem to come naturally. Instead, we tend to look at the ceiling, or down at the floor. In actuality, chances are we are really listening and just trying to process what is being said. People who process information visually tend to look up and to the right while they listen. Kinesthetic processors tend to look to the ground while listening. The result is that the person you are listening to doesn't think you are listening. They may even get hurt feelings or angry because the think that they don't have your attention.

The next opportunity you have to listen to someone; look them in the eye while they are speaking. Note: I said "eye" and not "eyes." Glancing back and forth to their eyes can make you look shifty or like you are not really listening. This is one of the skills that actors work hard to perfect. It is impossible for the person to know that you are looking in just one eye. It sends the message that you are listening intently.

Master this technique and you will be seen as a great communicator!

Getting Past The Bummers

2009-05-11T13:15:00.000-07:00

In our book “Burnt Toast & Jam” we use the analogy of Burnt Toast to cover the bad stuff that happens in life--the bummers that life deals us. Sometimes it’s the small things that cause stress, hurt or embarrassment; sometimes it’s really big things that impact our life forever.

Add the down economy and loss of jobs in the mix, and we are living in a time when bummers abound. So how do we replace the burnt cinders with sweet jam? One thing we can do is fill our personal reservoirs with positive strengths of character and abundant humor to give us the tools to endure tough times. The bigger the bummer, the bigger the challenge is. As you reflect on the burnt toast that you have been dealt, these thoughts might help you :

-For bigger bummers, reach out to others who have shared same or similar experiences. Surround yourself with the support of others.
- Let the glory of days gone by give you the courage to pen doors to the future.
-Embrace the fabulous three: Faith in a higher power Hope that sparks possibility and purpose; and Charity for those with an even heavier load.
-Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
-Focus on being grateful for even the smallest things.
-Initiate your own stress reducing techniques, i.e. whistle, hum, sing.
-Dare to be silly and laugh -- it will help lighten the load for all.
(Want to grow your humor skills? Check out our Special Reports at www.kinza.net)
Remember: Life is lumpy. A lump in your oatmeal is not the same as a lump in your breast. Know the difference.

On Stage in Las Vegas!

2009-04-14T16:44:00.000-07:00

What a grand time we had recently in Las Vegas. As a member of the Association for Applied Therapeutic Humor, I attended this year’s Conference which was Chaired by Milwaukee's Chip Lutz -- Kudos to Chip and the entire Conference Committee. The Conference was wonderful—and equipped me with even more tools for sharing the healing effects of laughter in women’s wellness, the health care industry and corporate wellness programs. Learning from the best and making new friends from the U.S and other countries represented, this was a wonderful four days. One of the highlights was being a featured entertainer appearing in the Stage show at the Top of the Riviera— Viva Las Vegas! (By the way, have you laughed yet today?)

2009-03-29T19:38:00.000-07:00

At the recent Froedtert Community & Network Woman's Fair held at Washington County Fair grounds, West Bend, WI, we spoke to over 800 women and presented Martina Hartwell, R.N. at St. Joseph's Cancer Care Center with some Chuckle Bags to take back with her to the Center.

Thank you to all who were in attendance in our audience. You were great sports as we practiced stepping out of our comfort zones, making healthy choices, having an 'I can do it" attitude-- and even danced! It was great meeting so many of you (and loved the hugs!).

Kudos to Jenn Smith, Gina Lange, and everyone who worked so hard to create this wonderful event!

Does Cancer Have a Sense of Humor?

2009-03-29T19:28:00.000-07:00

In an article by Arlene Harder, A, MFT, by the same title, Ms. Harder
Refers to the research concerning the mind-body connection, which sees laughter as a potential influence in healing.......... In a 60 minute segment about the Wellness Community, a national program of support for cancer patients and their families included a segment called a “Joke Fest” at which participants practiced laughing at a particular joke......We hear of fact after fact about how important laughter is to our health. It’s said that 15 minutes of laughter a day can actually extend one’s life.

When my brother-in-law, Ken, discovered he had cancer and had to undergo chemo treatments, I had to come up with a Christmas gift for him. I created a Chuckle Bag™. Months later Ken and my sister Marilyn were marveling over the big part the Chuckle Bag™played in their day during that difficult time. A new “Chuckle” every morning gave them a reprieve from the worry and a positive focus, something to smile about in a time when smiles are scarce. At the end of their 60 day supply of individually wrapped Chuckles, they recycled them again.

As a result of the positive feedback from them and others whom I had given the Bags out to, I started making more Chuckle Bags™and today I find they are a welcome gift (you can find them at http://www.kinza.net/) for Anyone who is sick or lonely, – hey, we all need more laughter. It does a body good!

Fun and Learning Flowed at SEWI-ASTD Meeting

2009-03-17T11:56:00.000-07:00

It was great seeing so many old and new friends at the SEWI-ASTD February Chapter meeting. With it’s Focus on taking care of YOU, the morning was held at Windwood Fitness Center and was packed with workshops that dealt with Personal health and attitude skills. My job: As the Stress Terminator, I kicked off theMorning with a taste of our Hurray It’s Monday! program, helping to revitalize spirits and fill personal reservoirs. As the “Workplace Genie” I was given the honor to provide a ‘wrap up” at the morning end, with a touch of glitz and “Genie-ism” attendees were given a quick lesson on movements they could use to energize themselves at their desk, de-stress, and even help prevent carpal tunnel syndrome. What fun we had! -- Thanks for including me in the mix!!!

Super Bowl: Jam for the Soul

2009-02-02T14:15:00.000-08:00

As the Super Bowl openers came across the screen, patriotic music pounded across the screen with Faith Hill and Jennifer Hudson’s flawless performances, there was something about watching some of our countries best athletes with heir hands across their heart, teary eyed, and actually singing the national anthem that was a glorious sight. It just doesn’t get any better than this. With all the Burnt toast that our country is dealing with right now between the financial crises, terrorism, and tumultuous changes, this was expression of hope, dedication and love for America and all it stands for. Unity comes from having a sense of common purpose and last night at the Super Bowl, this refreshing message shone through. Wow.

Burnt Toast and Jam Book Featured on Fox 6

2009-01-31T06:55:00.000-08:00

"Burnt Toast & Jam" -- "I LOVE this book!" exclaimed Kim Murphy,TV-Fox 6 as we began the interview on her Wake Up morning segment this past week. I was invited in by Fox 6 to discuss our new book. Kim was awesome. Her excitement and enthusiasm on "Burnt Toast & Jam" spilled over as she actually read excerpts to viewers and shared the value of its content for achieving personal happiness. The sound man was even excited about it afterward so I gave him my extra copy and he then asked for my autograph. I also answered many questions from the receptionist afterwards, she was pumped up and excited as she shared she was going to recommend her friends use "Burnt Toast & Jam" for their book club. To all my new friends at Fox-6, Thank you!

Got Stress?

2009-01-29T13:45:00.000-08:00

A whole new market has opened up for our "Laugh & Live Your Dreams" program. We've spoken at community wellness programs, company transition events, awards banquets, and womens Expos-- for those it always received high ratings. In November, Mercy Medical Center, Iowa, requested that program for their all-staff 400 person hospital retreat. We are just thrilled to have received this letter and wanted to share it with you. A huge thanks to Stacie for her letter! After the program the Director of the Cancer Center was presented with a supply of Kinza's "Chuckle Bags" to give patients undergoing chemotherapy.

"Kinza presented her “Laugh and Live Your Dreams” program for our annual Kailobration celebration at Mercy Medical Center – North Iowa. We wanted to provide stress relief and tools for professional achievement and personal happiness for our hospital employees. Kinza filled and exceeded all expectations. She was able to engage the audience and move them to action (literally – she had them dancing the aisles!). The vision of her in her dance costume, entering to music was just the beginning of an interactive, wonderful program.

Kinza is a true professional speaker. Behind the scenes, as we put this program together, Kinza was very responsive to my requests. She also went the extra mile digging up interesting tid-bits about our community and incorporating this information into her presentation.

Employees are still talking about how much fun they had and how inspiring it was watching Kinza live her dream. They found Kinza’s program to be motivating and uplifting, in a way they had not experienced before. Our construction coordinator summed-up Kinza’s presentation best when he stopped by my office to tell me “he hasn’t laughed that much in years!”

If you are looking for a presentation that is fun, motivating and educational, Kinza is the speaker for you!"

Sincerely,

Stacie Lancaster,
Kailo Coordinator

Body Language: Obama versus McKain

2008-11-10T09:18:00.001-08:00

We know that body language usually speaks louder than the person themself. Body language is the silent messenger that delivers perceptions - regardless of logic, facts or reality. It's been said "We do not live in a world of reality, we live in a world of perceptions. We create perceptions of ourselves every day, either by the way we dress, the way we talk or the way we act, gestures we use, tone of voice, etc.

Here's some food for thought. Forgetting the issues. Let's look at Obama and McCain in their campaign deliveries.

In looking back over the debates and newscoverage of the Presidental candidates as far as body language, there is no doubt that Obama won that race. How many pictures have you seen over the past weeks of Obama with his arms raised in cheering greetings, positive affirmations, or declaring intent. Large arm gestures re-enforce and convey passion and confidence. By contrast, McCain's physical disability causing him not to be able to be able to lift his arms higher than his chest provided a distinct contrast to his running mate. Although logically all knew of his admirable military past and personal torture endured, when addressing the masses, his message was undermined and shortchanged by the lack of these types of big enthusiastic and embracing power gestures.

A great lesson for all of us. Think about what your body language is saying. Is it congruent with your words?

BURNT TOAST IMPROVES WITH JAM

2008-10-03T08:44:00.000-07:00

When I was deciding upon a title for my new book about life, attitude and how we respond to the every day life challenges, it just seemed like the analogy to burnt toast and jam fit pretty accurately.

There’s a quote that goes: “Only 10% of life is what we are dealt. 90% of life is how we respond to it.” Supporting that belief, our book intertwines humor and life lessons. My resulting burnt toast and jam philosophy is when life deals you burnt toast, scrape off the cinders and slap on the jam.

How can we better prepare ourselves for the burnt toast of life? I believe it has to do “jam”, life’s good stuff. With our questionable economic future, this is a timely opportunity to figure out how to best prepare mentally for what may lie ahead.. Filling our personal reservoirs with a good foundation provides us with the balance, strength, and inner “jam” needed to face our challenges with a resilient spirit.

Here's a great step to start filing your personal reservoir:

1. Create a personal mission statement. A personal mission statement should be only a few sentences long and down to earth language so you can easily repeat it to yourself. It should
answer these questions: " The purpose of my life is:" and, "I will achieve that how:"
When we define our existence, it provides us direction and focus. It also serves to filter out
all the little stuff that we used to get stressed out about. (For more information and assistance, see our "Design The Life You've Always Wanted"Cd & manual, available at our site: http://www.kinza.net/)

Once you have a mission statement that feels is accurate for you, revisit it occasionally. Is it still "right on"? or do you to refine or update it? A personal mission statement is a roadmap
for your life, don't leave home without it!

NEW BOOK: BURNT TOAST & JAM

2008-09-14T07:52:00.000-07:00

We’re so excited to have finally our ‘soul’ book available for all
to read! In an easy-to-read format this book is packed with stories and
insights for living life with a positive attitude. Burnt Toast & Jam philosophy will impact your life. A guide on personal happiness, you will laugh and you will probably cry, but even more important, your heart will be touched.

“Kinza shares her wit, wisdom, humor and spirit for living. A fun read that reminds us all of what’s important!” . . . . . . . Shelley Peterman Schwarz, Author of “ Making Life Easier” series

“With laughter and tears and poetry and prose, ‘Burnt Toast and Jam’ will delight you.” . . . . . . . . . . Chris Clarke-Epstein, Past President of the National Speakers Assn.

A wonderful gift for the women on your gift list! Burnt Toast &
Jam, books may be ordered from books stores, at Amazon.com or http://www.kinza.net/.

Happy reading!!

You Cannot Force Loyalty

2008-08-11T09:40:00.000-07:00

I heard a quote once that said “You can tell the success of a country by whether people are trying to get out of it or if people are trying to get into it.” Russia take heed. True strength comes with an army of dedicated hearts, minds and souls. Not just guns. Force just doesn't do it. The Georgia ground may now be Russia’s, but it’s safe to say the people’s loyalty is not.

To inspire loyalty and the desire to succeed, progressive employers today are
recognizing the same lesson. “The whippings will continue until morale improves” just isn’t the management strategy that works. If you want to move people to action, you need to provide them with the value of why a mindset or action is important – what’s in it for them? Getting ‘buy-in’ means making a connection on an emotional level. A few
Insights that will generate a “I love my job” mindset.

--Emphasize the positives. These may be things as simple as paid vacations; flexibility on work schedules, progressive and fun workplace, or answering the question, how does your end product help others?
-- Overcome complaints by identifying them. Ask for employee feedback and act on it.
-- Recognize individuals for their efforts.
-- Provide educational experiences and developmental training.
-- Have a strong internal customer service philosophy, how can you best serve your employees?
-- Invest in maintaining a motivated workforce. Remember: logic moves people to think / emotions move people to act.
-- Create a company motto: Examples: (medical equipment) We help babies live;
(tires) We bring families together; (fuel) We keep you warm. When people can see the impact of the result of their work, it will nurture their pride factor & boost their feeling of self-worth.

Loyalty builds loyalty. If you are loyal (fair, caring, and dedicated) to your people, like a boomerang their loyalty will come back to you.

Brett's Lesson to All of Us

2008-07-13T08:55:00.000-07:00

As news unraveled about Brett Favre’s decision to come out of retirement, one could see the shaking of heads as they pondered Brett’s inability to make a decision and stick with it. Others are thrilled and distraught at the options. The pedestal on which we have placed Packer player Brett was due to his football playing skills but it was also enhanced by his down-to earth manner, likeability and integrity. You just trusted him. So, how did you feel when you heard the news?

Everyone has the right to change their mind, celebrities included. The lesson here is to take a look at the jolt of not keeping your word can cause in the minds of others.

When someone does not keep their word, it invokes an emotional reaction in others. It may be disappointment, hurt, betrayal, or it might be joy and happiness, in either instance, it creates a change from the original expectations that had been set. It is that change that evokes emotions. When emotions are involved, there’s a ripple effect of subconscious judgments made in our minds. A few tips for noncelebrities to help us in “keeping our word” .

* Think before your speak, ponder all the pros and cons
* Leave yourself an ‘out’ when appropriate.
* Once given, be committed to your word

For that rare instance, when you need to change “your word””
· Don’t take it lightly
· Be considerate in what a change will mean to others
· Have facts that justify your change
· Use humor when appropriate to ease the transition
· Be humble – we’re only human. Things change.

- - - - -
"Be careful of the words you speak, to keep them soft & sweet,
you never know from time to time which ones you’ll have to eat." au

It's Just a Little Thing, Or Is It?

2008-06-18T11:30:00.000-07:00

Several years ago I heard about a woman in Michigan who had put an ad in the paper to advertise her listening service. All people had to do was call her and she would listen to them. She charged by the minute and it made the news because of how successful her business was already in the first few months.

Whether people just need to talk to someone or they are lonely, a listening ear can heal a heart. Sometimes it’s the little things we can do that can make a big difference for someone else. I am reminded of this story:

A young volunteer had the job to call an elderly lady every morning, just to make sure she was all right. One day the volunteer got busy and soon it was noon. The elderly lady called her and questioned why she hadn’t called. The volunteer explained she was just about to make the call. The elderly lady said, “Oh good, I’ll hang up so you can call. Your call is the only time my phone ever rings. "

"If speaking is silver, then listening is gold " -- Turkish Proverb

Gone Are The Old Clichés

2008-05-23T07:15:00.000-07:00

With the advent of the fast-paced, instant world and the birth of over
60 million GenY’ers by nuturing parents, there are some old clichés that are being
wiped off the slate. I’m sure there are more, but for starters:

-As a child you should be seen and not heard.
-Patience is a virtue
-Good things come to those who wait

Some replacements might very well be:

-Experts come in all sizes
-Persistence pays
-Now is always better than later

Breaking Through the Glazing of Gen-Y

2008-05-14T09:51:00.000-07:00

Born between 1960 and 1980, Gen-Y (also known as Millennials)
Never knew the world without cell phones, beepers, voice messages,
And chat rooms. Their grandparents, history’s traditional mentors, are busy out
seeing the world and their parents are struggling to survive and provide it all.

Gen-Y has always been ‘cyber’ connected to people. This is directly opposite from the Boomers always being ‘connected’ to people through face to face relationships. None of the “cyber tools” ever required a show of emotions to operate; but they have enabled Gen-Y’s to take multi-tasking to new heights.

From audiences I am always asked, how do break through the glazed over, blank looks?
Do I reach this generation who seems to be zoned out? Gaining the understanding of how this generation has been raised is a first step in understanding their challenges and their strengths. Here are 7 techniques to help dissolve the glaze:

1. Define: Why is this important to them? Then share it with them.
2. Be respectful of their intelligence.
3. Give them the tools to fulfill your expectations.
4. Seek their opinions and ideas.
5. Provide mentors and job shadowing
6. Be direct and to the point. Don’t waste their time.
7. Focus on commonalities

Attracting & Retaining Gen-Y

2008-05-13T19:20:00.000-07:00

Our emerging workforce is presenting employers with challenges of a magnitude never before seen. Cries of frustration are being heard as employers struggle to find out what makes their young employees tick.

Born 1980-2000+, Generation-Y (also known as the Millennials) provides a huge pool of about 80 million from which we can draw from to fill the 2006 labor shortages in our country. With Traditionalists (born before 1945)retiring, and Boomers not far behind, Gen-Y’s far outnumber their Gen-X seniors and are phasing in to dominate the workforce for approximately the next 70 years.

Generation-Y was described by Bruce Tulgan and Dr. Carolyn Martin in Managing the Generation Mix-Part II as “The most demanding generation in history.” Things we know: Traditional management is out. There is nothing ‘traditional’ about Gen-Y.

Recent surveys show that the top three ways to get a Gen Y to join an organization were salary, friendly casual work environment and development opportunities—in that order. While money was rated at the top, they want their careers personalized through special assignments, mentorships and training. Unfortunately, for businesses in this labor shortage, the trend to high salaries and signing bonuses are likely to continue.

Being the first generation to be deemed as “experts” in their homes by the age of 8. They have had their parents asking for their opinion and advise on everything from programming cell phones to which key to click on the computer. They do not have to prove their ‘value’ as preceding generations did who were raised with the “Be seen and not heard” rule. As a result this new group has incredible confidence.
They are not easily intimidated and can be blunt in expressing themselves.
“I don’t have time to be intimidated,” says one 26-year-old ad agency copywriter. “It’s not that I’m disrespectful, it’s just a waste of energy to be fearful.”

The work ethic? We have raised our children in a society where hard work on the part of the student is no longer seen as a key factor in academic success. This is seen in direct contrast to immigrants who were define their accomplishments synonymously with hard work. It is also interesting to note that on ACT tests where the knowledge of the English language was comparable, immigrants more often aced the test while middle class children of college graduate parents pulled C’s and D’s – with the determined difference between the two groups being motivation – or the lack of it. University of Pennsylvania researchers suggest that the reason so many U.S. students are ‘falling short of their intellectual potential’ results from their failure to exercise self-discipline”.

The blank stares. Representing a ‘disconnect’, this is a prevalent phenomena being experienced by teachers, parents, and management alike with Gen-Yers. What does it mean? There are several components: Some scientists say that the immersion in technology has actually changed the way that brains work. Marriott International has responded by changing its training approach to multisensory, rapid-fire series of sound-bites and is now developing bite-size “edutainment” training podcasts so employees can download and receive the information via their favorite mode. Another reason for thedisconnect: No emotional involvement. Through video games and other media, Gen-Y has been in a sense “desensitized”. Busy and overprotective parents and home life have eliminated the ground work for developing problem-solving processes. Teachers are repeatedly telling me that their students seem to be unable to think for themselves – quick to reach for their cell phone to obtain advice on how to respond. Being raised in a society where everything is packaged in the “experience” (as initiated for the Gen-Xers) Gen-Y has been groomed to be accustomed to being entertained, and having fun. This has, in essence, become their motivation.

- Resumes sent by snail mail are part of the past. This tech savvy generation will send their resume online, expecting an immediate response.
-Advertise on multiple online job posting boards (trade, local, national).
-Create a job posting board on your company’s website, providing an easy way for candidate to respond and apply.
- Actual ad copy will be important. Include the appealing perks that your work culture provides for Gen-Yers, i.e.: development opportunities; family friendly; life balance;
fast paced, freedom, company leagues, state of the art technology. Use key words that will attract on-line searches.
-Once hired, assign a mentor.
-Ask their opinion. Invite to participate on committees.
-Provide a Mentor and explore the possibility of job shadowing.
-Provide “high speed” feedback . Go to a daily or weekly feedback system, not annually.
-Implement a training plan to initiate growth and empowerment

Your Customer Service Image

2008-05-09T06:12:00.000-07:00

Customer Service—it can be the golden nugget to trigger customer loyalty or it can be a nightmare that drives a customers away. Good or bad, one thing is for sure, it is often memorable.

The other day I was in a store buying flowers. I asked the young girl for some specific flowers that I did not see setting out. She smiled and kindly offered to run to the back and get what I needed. When she brought them up to me, the owner came by and blew up at her snarling that these were not what I wanted. In a mean, upset tone, he said “If you (meaning the employee) had put the tags on the tray, you would have known that these weren’t right and he stomped off to get the right ones. In a confronting, coarse manner, he managed to bring his employee to tears. Once out of ear shot, she was quick to say that she wasn’t going to be working there anymore. The owner wasn’t understanding and always belittled her in front of customers, embarrassing her and making her feel awful.

I felt myself being caught in the middle. I appreciated the owner’s dedication to giving me what I wanted but I did not appreciate the manner in which it was done. It goes to demonstrate that customer service is more than just the customer’s end result. It’s the entire journey. A great question for your next Customer Service effort—How can you make the journey a pleasant experience?

Choose Your Words Wisely

2008-05-08T13:25:00.000-07:00

Talk about image! A trend, which started in the pop culture years ago, has today spread and infected even the most traditional settings. And, it’s not just the kids using foul language. Recently a very renowned sales “guru” conducted a Seminar in our area. I had the opportunity to help work the product tables in exchange for free admission. Now, I had heard him before and while his expertise is unquestionable, I just wasn’t up for dealing with his choice of words. The last time I heard him I found his continued use of profanities to be offensive and, frankly, decided now I had better things to do with my time.

Like with so many undesirable habits, it seems we tend to passively condone other’s use of bad language. Then, before we know it, whether we are cut off in traffic, or the copy machine has a paper jam at the office, we hear “it” fly out of our own mouth. (Who said that?!) In this era of complacency, casualness and indifference, the lapse of language proprieties joins the long list of ways that we sabotage ourselves. It corrodes self-esteem, lowers standards and affects how we are perceived by others. And, in the business world,
it can drive customers away.

The following information may just shed new light on this self-destructive habit; and instill an appreciation for our reaping the benefits of using the English language the way it was intended.

Hal Urban in his book, Positive Words, Powerful Results, maintains that what we see as the evils of bad language is more a matter of civility, respect and courtesy. In making this point to his classroom, he gave his students a number of questions to answer:

Would you think differently of me if I constantly used swear words?
Are there places in our society in which you don’t want to hear swear words?
Are people who use foul language in public polite or rude?
What do you reveal about yourself when you constantly swear?

Here are some of the replies that these teenagers responded with regarding people who constantly use foul language:
They’re angry.
They’re uneducated.
They’re rude and inconsiderate.
They have limited vocabularies.
They aren’t creative or imaginative.
They’re clueless.

Once again, we as adults have the opportunity to set good examples and train our youth to fill tomorrow’s leadership roles. Actually, from the above information it sounds like they already have a pretty good grip on the destructive influence of bad language—could they have learned that from us? Perhaps, as adults and leaders, it’s time we give more thought to the words that we choose, and before we know it, we may just be raising the bar on ourselves.

BRETT FAVRE FOR PRESIDENT

2008-03-24T14:36:00.000-07:00

Wow, I am relieved. I have finally decided who it is that I am voting for! How about Brett Favre for President? While that might seem a little bizarre, it certainly does give one food for thought. Brett has most of the personal attributes that I would hope for in a President. He has a superior performance record. He’s proven himself to be trustworthy, ethical man of integrity with a humble character and a heart and soul that is unquestionablely all-American. He’s charismatic and a leader while at the same time he is does not shirk from challenges. He’s not easily intimidated and he’s a competitor who is committed to victory and fairness.

In this time of uncertainty and questions in the political race for President, there are days when I think our country’s best chances for survival, as we know it, might just be with Brett.

In any event, if you haven’t seen this wonderful YouTube tribute to
Brett for all the years that he’s been our Packer Hero, just go to:

Click here: YouTube - We Love Brett Favre

HOW ARE YOU RETAINING YOUR BOOMERS?

2008-03-05T19:56:00.000-08:00

Boomers hold experience and business knowledge that is like ‘gold’ in the workplace issues facing today’s organizations. The smart organizations are figuring out plans to promote internal knowledge transfer and promote intergenerational learning. Many businesses are getting creative. Here are a few ideas used:

1. Mentoring programs have been found to be a beneficial tool for training and passing on the boomer gold. Mentoring programs will take a mature worker and match him/her with a small group of proteges’. They meet regularly to discuss business issues with the mature serving acting as a sounding board for the younger employees.

2. Increase retiree recruiting efforts to bring back as needed for projects.

3. Provide generational/people skills training to give managers the tools to increase retention of baby boomers. What I am hearing from the business organizations I speak to, that many of the mature workers are feeling ignored in the workplace. Rather than younger manager soliciting their wisdom, they look right past them – as if they have already retired and left –and carry on conversations with the other younger workers. The inexperience of management is recreating a ‘clique’ like scenario which rather than promotes boomer retentions, actually discourages it.

4. Increase the number of job share positions.

What can you add to this list? How do you recognize your boomer workers and their contributions? We would love to hear your comments.

TURNING THE TIDE IN OUR RUDE & CRUDE SOCIETY

2008-02-06T17:21:00.000-08:00

How did we end up wallowing in the social verbal muck that we are in today? We hear it on the radio, we see it on our computers,televisions, and movies; we hear it when we are shopping and at work—and we are hearing it on the playgrounds. Crudeness, rudeness, and a downright lack of respect for others. What is even more astonishing, is that we somehow condone it by our silence. Being polite seems to be a lost art – or are we just getting too lazy to care?

We wonder why people can’t get along. It all comes down to one thing: Communication.

Let’s look at the basics: When was the last time you heard anyone say “Please”, or “Thank you”? And here’s one that seems to have been lost: “You’re welcome”. Imagine the difference in your day and the difference you would make in the day of others if you used those words whenever you could.

Some may use the excuse that they are just too time deprived and can’t take the time to be polite. Instead, I would suggest that being polite to others may be the most important thing one does all day. For relationship building, remember the old saying “You can catch more flies with honey than you can vinegar.”

If you want to be more effective or exercise your leadership skills -- or just make a difference--here’s your opportunity. Be polite. Raise the bar on yourself and set yourself apart from the Rude Crude Dudes – they’re just not funny anymore and their lack of manners is degrading to all of us.

SICK OF BEING OVERLOOKED?

2008-01-22T15:39:00.000-08:00

Have you noticed that some people just seem to be so-o-o lucky?
--When they speak, people listen -- When they call on the phone, people respond -- When others want advice, they are the ones others go to -- When promotions are handed out, they are the ones who get them.

It's been said that "Luck is the intersection where preparedness meets opportunity." Are you going to be ready for that next opportunity?

If you are tired of feeling like you are a pork chop short when it comes to that value judgment of you, you need to read our Special Report: 80 Ways to Build Your Effectiveness and Power. This 10-Page Report is packed with tips and tools for being seen as more effective and powerful in your daily life. And it can be in your hands in minutes! In this Special Report, you will learn things you can do every day to become recognized, respected and more effective – and tremendously more powerful.

In our Special Report you will learn:
*Techniques to being seen as a person of influence
*How to stop sabotaging yourself
*Ways the words you choose affect your impact
*Strategies for attracting powerful people
every day ways to demonstrate credibility and strength

Available at: www.kinza.net/shop/index.html#reports

Start building your success today and make 2008 your incredible year!

Dump Stink'n Think'n in 2008

2008-01-01T18:31:00.000-08:00

So how did you do on last years goals? Did you set new goals for 2008 or are you just, once again, recycling the old? Or, did you take the bah-humbug approach and just skip the whole thing? Negativity, lack of vision and lack of adequate planning play huge roles in our resolution demise.

If you are playing the “I just don’t think I can ever do that” song, it’s time you step up to the plate and make 2008 YOUR year. We hear all those negative little voices from the past screaming in our heads. You know the ones, listing all the reasons we can’t do things or why we would never be able to achieve. It’s called stink'n think'n. It’s time you dump this negativity and replace it with positive steps and an "I can do it" belief in yourself

A tip for a great start: Rather than making an overwhelming list of goals; break it down into a few attainable and specific goals. Give yourself bite size accomplishments that you can easily measure and attain one step at a time. Most peoples goals are too broad. Focus on each step so that you can easily measure your accomplishments.

then, write down your goals. Studies show that people who write down their goals are 83% more likely to achieve them than those who just think about their goals.

We have the perfect tool to help you have a happier and more self-fulfulled 2008. Our “Design The Life You Want” CD and workbook will take you through the steps needed to groom a winning mindset and get you on the path to your personal success. Available at our website: www.kinza.net/shop/index.html.

Who do you want to be?
The person you hope to be or
The person that you fear you are?
Your choice.

STOP THIS MEDIA VIOLENCE!!!!

2007-11-08T10:28:00.000-08:00

We used to watch an occasional evening detective program, but quite frankly I refuse to watch another autopsy or torture take place in my living room. This season’s version have reached new depths of morbidity and gruesome acts of violence. And then there’s the Computer games – what are we thinking anyway?!

The "Monkey see, monkey do" concept is pretty simple. So what is it that our society doesn’t get?

I would not be surprised to learn that an anti-America terrorist organization was funding our media programming. Surely, we wouldn't do this to ourselves.

In case your common sense needs a boost, consider this:
- In research done over the past 30 years, they found that kids between 6 and 9 years of age who watched heavy violence were twice as likely to be physically aggressive, the men were 3 times more likely to convicted of criminal behavior.

-The computer games of today are changing the way our children’s brain function.

-Studies show the shooting games heighten the aggressiveness. According to L. Rowell Huesmann, Social Psychologist: Watching violence also “primes” aggressive scripts and beliefs, creating a heightened level of neural excitation that spreads to other thoughts stored in nearby areas of the brain. Paradoxically, then, exposure to violent media violence both decreases emotional response to violence and increases neurological arousal —a one-two punch that can be lethal.

What can parents do? Take back the job- or privilege- of entertaining their children. (You might want to rethink those Christmas presents.)

What can companies do?
1. Incorporate into wellness programs, education on the affects of media-induced violence and the resulting lack of sleep, on an employee’s job attitude and productivity.
2. Withdraw sponsorships of violent programming.
3. Create ads that promote positivity and brotherhood.

What can we all do? Stop following like sheep. Turn off tube and dump the gadgets. Write emails and letters to tv stations; and be vocal. Get back to the basics. Demand our rights to positive programming.
Then, take the family, go outside and play a game of ball.

Image- Why Does It Matter Anyway?

2007-11-04T10:40:00.000-08:00

Sloppies and floppies may be fine for watching your favorite ballgame on television or cleaning the garage; but research supports the common-sense notion that direct correlation between one’s respect for oneself and the respect one receives from others.

The way you present yourself to the world can impact your life. It can help you to reach life goals. We are a visual society, others will create a judgment of you in the first 3-7 seconds they meet you. With people remembering what they see 30% longer than what they hear, as you are seen, so shall you be, at least in the mind of others.

A professional image is a sum of many factors: attire, grooming, etiquette, and attitude.

Being professional can do many good things. Professionalism: (As you read the list, after each one, think about what the increased benefits would mean to you.)

· Creates respect
· Raises the bar on your value to the organization.
· Positions you as an authority
· Promotes trust
· Facilitates referrals
· Generates better income
· Dictates how you are treated

The next time you leave the house, consider this:
You are the billboard for the person you want to become. Professional Image? It’s a good thing.

Image - WHAT are they thinking?!

2007-08-08T13:49:00.000-07:00

It’s been said that we don’t live in a world of reality, we live in a world of perception. We know that most people wake up in the morning with the intention of looking good, having a good day; and wanting to be thought of as having value. Mix that in with the desire to be respected, and one really has to wonder why so many dress like they don’t have a clue.

Could it be because they don’t? There are two reasons that people don’t pay attention to their image. Either they just never thought about it themselves, or no one ever told them the impact it can have on their life. Studies show that over 60% of people shooting for the top, dress for failure.

Some of the image killers seen this summer:

Gals – Gals, get a grip. Bouncing boobs and bare butts are not appropriate in the workplace. If you are wearing those tiny pieces of fabric some call skirts to job interviews, you better check what it is that they are hiring you for! To make it in the business world and be taken seriously, stick to the 3 C’s: Conservative, Crisp & Classic.

Guys -- Have you ever noticed when it comes to our bodies what was up in our youth falls down over time, what was in is out. Whether it’s age or added weight causing it, take a good look at that business casual knit shirt you are wearing. An undershirt may be necessary to avoid that “I need a bra” look. And about those wrinkles, learn how to operate an iron (It's easier than the lawn mower and doesn't take nearly as much time). Strive to dress impeccably. Remember, you are the billboard for the person you want to be.

For more guidelines for getting it right, you can order our tips book “192 Survival Tips for a Professional Image”. Packed with tips to help you reach your goals, this book has been acclaimed as a “must read for anyone in business”. Available at our website: www.kinza.net/shop/index.html.

Emotional Intelligence Reigns

2007-07-20T13:11:00.000-07:00

We are living in a high-tech age, where teams may be virtual, an office is no more than a cubicle, meetings are held somewhere in cyberspace, mandates are delivered by e-mail and "me, myself and I" fill up our leisure hours. Veterans and Boomers are finding themselves being pulled into more frequent lapses of indifference than they ever would have experienced twenty years ago.

Studies show that the bulk of Generation-Xers of today were latch-key kids growing up with a survivor mentality. Instead of Leave it to Beaver and the Girl Next Door, the younger generations are watching harsh reality programs where ones compete for survival and the losers are cast out—or animated skateboards see how many people they can blow up with bombs, ultimately creating an emotional disconnect. Amidst all of this is it any wonder the workplaces of today are struggling to hone our people skills? Once considered a luxury and referred to as "soft skills", the need for training people how to connect with others on an emotional level is becoming a hard fact of life. And for good reason.

Today 'soft skills" encompass what it is referred to as Emotional Intelligence. Advocates of emotional intelligence have long heralded it's importance in personal and professional achievement. Recently I was working for a client at conference, I had the opportunity to hear the President of the International Reading Association, Richard Allington, give a brilliant presentation on the shortcomings of our educational system as it has traditionally taken the narrow path of IQ as a measuring tool -- ignoring the enormous impact that emotional intelligence has on one’s development and ability to succeed.

A growing number of career studies have provided the impetus for the increasing importance emotional intelligence plays in one’s job performance. Some examples:

*The Air Force found by using EI to select recruiters they were able to predict successful recruiters by nearly three-fold—saving $3 million annually.

At L’Oreal, sales people selected on the basis of emotional competence sold $91,370 more than those who were not selected on that basis—a net revenues increase of $2,558.360. Sales people selected on emotional competence also had 63% less turnover during the first year.

After supervisors in a manufacturing plan received training on how to listen better and help employees solve problems profits increased.

It has been said that 85% of our success is determined by our ability to communicate. It is no surprise then that emotional intelligence is crossing the finishing lines first. Unfortunately, many educational institutes still admit people into programs based solely on the I.Q., even for those occupations demanding high degrees of empathy and personal interaction.

The good news is that emotional intelligence can be learned. Globally today, large and small companies are using tools like the DISC behavior styles assessment to help them hire the right people and build strong teams. In addition, to being used as a hiring tool, our clients have found this tool provides a common language from which they can easily base all of their training programs. Through training programs and the creation of a ‘caring’ corporate culture progressive companies are meeting their organizational sales goals and increasing their employee retention.

From Failure to Success - Never give up!

2007-07-06T10:51:00.000-07:00

FROM FAILURE TO SUCCESS- Never give up!

Success are built on failures. The important thing to remember is that failure is an “event” -–not a “person”. Your actions may have failed, but that does not make YOU a failure. The failed event is merely another form of a life lesson. The very act of learning from a failed event turns it into a success.

Estelle Getty of TV’s Golden Girls auditioned four times for the part of Sophia, and she still did not get the part. But she didn’t give up.
Figuring they were reluctant because she was only 60 at the time auditioning to play an 80 year old, guess what she did? She hired a make-up artist, went to a resale shop where she bought laced up shoes, a funny hat, and a dress two sizes too big for her. Getty shuffled into NBC as the elderly lady they were looking for. She got the part.

Many people we think of today as being overnight successes, can tell of years filled with many failed events. They learned from them and persisted in trying to reach their goals.

The next time you have a failed event in your life, think of it as a learning experience, learn from it, move on and CELEBRATE ---you are one step closer to success!

SUPER BOWL WINNER IS: COKE COLA

2007-02-05T18:53:00.000-08:00

The game was a game, the half time show was a half time show, but the real Winner of this year’s Super Bowl? Hands down. The trophy goes to Coke Cola. For their leadership in airing an extraordinary commercial that left viewers singing and humming the catchy tune, “The love you give, comes back to you.” It was the commercial that dared to step across the line of getting back to moral values, decency, helping one another and promoting brotherly love. As the actor made his way down the street, helping people, the words continued…” you will be known by what you say and what you do.” And demonstrating caring for one another. Wow, they sent a huge message unparalleled in recent years.

A few years ago U.S.News & World Report did a cover story entitled “In Your Face” with the subtitle: Whatever happened to good manners? Americas uncivilness was an article on our rude and crude culture; and how obnoxious and shocking behavior has replaced good manners. In a poll conducted by Bozell Worldwide: 9 our of 10 American think incivility is a problem More than 90% say the problem has worsened in the last ten years. May Coke Cola’s revolutionary debut be the first of many as we move forward In creating a pendulum swing towards courtesy and respect for one another.

And then there was Budweiser, what’s with the ax, and chainsaw? Hitting a guy in the head with a rock is suppose to be funny? Not. Actually their messages were pretty sick. Perhaps it’s time Budweiser take a leadership role and use their money to raise the bar on personal behavior and conduct. If they’re at a loss at how to do it? Take a lesson from Coke Cola.

Open Your Door and Lead

2007-01-31T06:52:00.000-08:00

Repeatedly, I hear employees grumbling about the things going on in their workplace. They cite examples which always include a variety of issues, culminating in low morale. Then the clincher comes. “Our President is always in his office with his door closed. There’s really very little interaction. We never see him.” This is a typical symptom of the workplace performance crises that can occur with the practice we call Closed Door Disease.

An ad in the Wall Street Journal cited these facts regarding the position of CEO’s:
-With shorter grace periods and higher performance bars, results rarely meet expectations.
-The CEO sets the tone. The personality at the top becomes the personality of the corporation.

Doesn’t it make sense that when the head is under pressure to meet quotas and increase bottom lines, that the relationships with the body (the team players) becomes crucial? Wouldn’t this be the time when high morale could parallel increased production? So what is it that the Closed Door executive just doesn’t get?

The traits of a successful company leader consists of qualities such as being action oriented, capable of innovative thinking, calculating risks and embracing change. While these leadership traits may be extraordinary, there are those leaders for whom rapport building is just not in their mix. They are not comfortable with it and see it as a waste of time. When relationship building skills are a pork chop short, gaining employment commitment and buy-in for a project can be a tortuous process that often falls short of expectations. Hence, a leader often find himself sitting behind his closed doors wondering why his people are making this so hard.

If you find yourself in this position, find a consultant that can help you develop your people reading skills and grow your rapport building backbone. We’ve found that once executive teams are educated on the different behavior styles and taken through certain exercises for discovering how to best communicate with each other, it is much easier to gain commitment, solve problems and grow effective teams--reducing down time and dollars lost. Whether it is an investment in a single session or ongoing consulting basis, honing communication skills can reap bottom line rewards. A few observations to get you started:

Don’t let your position go to your head. Stop and take a reality check. Are you the same person that got you to this position in the first place or have you become more aloof? Are you sincere in building relationships or are you seen as in-effective and insincere? Remember, it’s not how you see yourself that counts, it’s how others see you.

The problem may be that you really don’t care what the employee thinks, you know exactly how you want to run things and don’t need to waste your time listening to him. If this describes you, you need to grasp the concept that no man is an island. When morale suffers, productivity suffers, ROI falls. Is this the result you want? What could you be doing better? You may need to face some hard facts on your
management style. Is your management style “shutting down” your other players ?

If you have been guilty of the Closed Door Disease, the first thing that needs to happen, is that you need to let employees know that you value their input and that your door will be open to them. Then when one pokes his head in, stop whatever you are doing and give him or her 100% of your attention. Take the time to become a good listener and acknowledge appreciation for them sharing their ideas. And don’t drop it there. If it is something that requires follow up, follow up on it. If you use his idea, give him the recognition for it.

According to Simon Wright in his article on the subject in Smart Business, leaders need to be honest
with their people. Many people are uncomfortable in their speaking abilities; as a leader it comes down to this: Get over it! (www.toastmasters.org). You cannot afford to be silent. If you are forced to have lay offs, for example, rather than just remaining silent, like you don’t care about the effect on your remaining employees, address it. Be very clear on how life is going to change. You might say something like: “We are going to have to adapt and move on if we are going to keep our results where they need to be. These are difficult times and it’s not going to be easy.” A serious statement like this is going to be received much better when it is balanced with an mutual level of previously established rapport. Be sure to thank them for their continued effort—and remind them of your open door.

Employees want to be informed of what is going on, this is how you build an employee’s sense of ownership and ultimately increase employee retention. Employees see a true Open Door policy important for a healthy work culture. In other words, this is how you achieve the best results. And for the CEO, results are a good thing.

Avoiding the Title of "Jerk"

2007-01-30T16:01:00.000-08:00

In finding words to describe a jerk, I would imagine ‘lack of manners’ and ‘showing no regard for others’ might be a couple of the attributions mentioned. The interesting thing about "jerkhood" is that it is a quality usually not recognized by the person holding the title. I imagine there are times when we all may be of guilty of “jerkism” but when it becomes a habit it can be detrimental to relationships and one's very existence. Being a chronic jerk is just not "a good thing."
In Ken Lloyd's book on Jerks at Work, he states, "As tough as work is, particularly in light of the long and arduous hours that men and women are now putting into their job, work can be turned into sheer torture by the presence of just one jerk. Even sadder is the fact that many organizations and even many departments would rejoice if they only had one jerk."
There are symptoms of the condition. These may be things like: noticing your friends flee; not being included in casual social events; co-workers stop talking when you enter the room; or, you find yourself in the middle of frequent conflicts. Just in case you think you might have caught the affliction, ask yourself the following questions:

If someone is a different personality make up from you, do you:
1. Accept then and try to get to know them better and find the bonds you may have?
2. React negatively because you feel uncomfortable?
3. Just ignore them, knowing you have nothing in common?
4. Act rude to them, making you feel like a "bigger" person?

In tense situations, do you:
1. Act quickly to smooth and quietly make things better?
2. Get tense and upset too?
3. React with anger, using harsh words?
4. Speak your piece and make the situation worse?

When talking about others, do you:
1. Never say a bad thing about anyone?
2. Never talk about anyone else?
3. Tell all and then some?
4. Think it makes you look good if you tell bad things about others?

When others are trying to listen to something, do you:
1. Sit quietly and respect their rights?
2. Save you comment for after the meeting?
3. Make comments and disrupt the silence of others?
4. Use this as a captive audience for your own platform?

Do you greet your co-workers by name each day:
1. Always?
2. Frequently?
3. Seldom?
4. Never?

Total the number of your choices. If the total number is:
5-10 Congratulations! You are free from jerkism and an inspiration to others.
11-15 You undesirable tendencies are showing. Be alert to them and tread lightly.
16-20 You are undoubtedly deserving of the title bestowed upon you.

The good news? You can avoid the title of “Jerk” by recognizing the tendencies that get you into trouble and committing to wanting to change your behavior.
--List reasons why you want to change your behavior.
--Identify your most common offenses.
--Make a regular practice of supporting self-talk(Ex. In the shower, turning the car key. “I will make…” "I will do...." "Today I will be..."
--Make a plan for handling these situations better.
--Think in terms of “you” not “I”.
--Make someone’s day
--Be a messenger of kindness
--When hit with a challenge, take a deep breath and think, how can I turn this around?
--Keep an Achievement count – how many times did you avoid being a jerk today?
--Share your goals with someone close to you.
--If you ‘fall off the wagon”, choose the high road. Quickly remedy the situation. It take a big person to say two tiny words, “I’m sorry.”
--Turn to a higher power for help on your life journey.

MASTERING THE "EYE" CHALLENGE

2007-01-25T12:51:00.000-08:00

MASTERING THE "EYE" CHALLENGE

Of all the communication skills taught, it would seem that learning to look someone in the eye is one of the hardest to do. It's just doesn't seem to come naturally. Instead, we tend to look at the ceiling, or down at the floor. In actuality, chances are that we are really listening and just trying to process what is being said. People who process information visually tend to look up and to the right while they listen. Kinesthetic processors tend to look to the ground while listening. The result is that the person you are listening to doesn't think you are listening. They may even get hurt feelings or angry that they don't have your attention.

The next opportunity you have to listen to someone; look them in the eye while they are speaking. Note: I said "eye" and not "eyes." Glancing back and forth to their eyes can make you look shifty or like you are not really listening. This is one of the skills that actors work hard to perfect. It is impossible for the person to know that you are looking in just one eye. They will assume you are listening intently.
Master this technique and you will be seen as a great communicator!

2007-01-21T17:12:00.000-08:00

Professional Image Pendelum Swings

2007-01-21T17:01:00.000-08:00

Business casual is on the decline as companies today are fed up with the lack of professionalism through poor choices on the part of their employees. With the tough economy and fierce competition which exists today, companies need to build their brand in the marketplace and attract customers. If you don't want your company revert back to required traditional business, you will want to heed these warnings: Cover the cleavage, starch the shirts, hide the tattoos, and think clean and classic. Oh yes, and don't forget to polish those shoes!

Cancer Patients Love Chuckle Bags(TM)

2007-01-18T14:41:00.000-08:00

Have a friend undergoing chemo treatments? Everyone need something good to look forward to--especially during this difficult time.

We have the perfect gift for you to give! A Chuckle Bag(TM) is a festive gift bag, a heartfelt uplifting message from Kinza and 60-individually folded humorous 1-liners -- a supply to last 60 days! No need to wrap, it's ready to give! It is the perfect gift to help friends through hard
days of cancer, put a chuckle in their hearts and let them know that you are thinking of them.

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Wisconsin Motivational Speaker KINZA featured

2006-12-31T09:15:00.000-08:00

Wisconsin Meetings Magazine featured an article by Kinza Christenson in their Fall, 2006, issue.
Titled Partnering for Success Kinza's article provided insights for meeting planners on how preparation and attention to details in working with their speaker can make or break an event's success. Taking into consideration "Murphey's Law" (If something can go wrong it will) Kinza's tips included:
--Take a detailed approach with the speaker. Most speakers provide a pre-program questionnaire. Take their questions seriously--what you write will provide your speaker the
material needed to connect with their audience.
--If using a theme, what can the speaker do to accommodate the theme? Let your speaker know of any visions you may and don't be afraid to ask for her ideas.
--Arrange for volunteers ahead of time to help with any speaker needs, product table, music, etc.
--Be sure to give the speaker your cell phone number. They'll be able to contact you if there's any delay or last minute question and they'll be able to let you know they have arrived so you can breath a sigh of relief.

ELECTION LESSONS ON GIVING A SPEECH

2006-11-08T18:38:00.000-08:00

We've been besieged with the media coverage of the campaign trails. Gone are the days when the average guy jumps up on the soap box and starts expounding on his beliefs. Today the candidates are coached and groomed with how to stand, speak, gesture. They need to know who to stand next to, what colors to wear and who their audiences will be -- all things that go into delivering an influential presentation. Whoever said speaking was easy was right; most of us are able to easily ramble on for hours. The challenge comes in developing the art of crafting and delivering a meaningful presentation within the allotted time frame. Statistics show; image matters!

What are some of the biggest blunders that presenters can make?

Lack of preparation to speak. Speaking well doesn't just happen. It's the result of practice. Take the time to practice in front of an audiences every opportunity you get or even taking coaching lessons will help overcome those anxiety jitters. Practice, practice, practice. The more you rehearse, the less chance sabotaging yourself by inserting off-the-cuff verbiage that can destroy all the good you are trying to do – just ask John Kerry.

Not organized. Start collecting information and clippings on your topic. Jot down notes. Keep them in a file for future reference. A good speech is the result of good research and interesting content. Once at the lecture, do not be fumbling through your materials, it makes you look inept and unorganized.

Drop the filler words. Politicians are not immune from "ah-h-h-h's" and "uh-m-m-ms", and when used repeatedly, they can drive their audience crazy! Polished speakers have learned to delete those from their delivery.

No message continuity. There are specific ingredients to a well crafted speech. Starting with a good beginning, three or four main points and having a good closing are the first steps. The closing should relate back to the beginning to wrap your presentation in a great package.

Not knowing the audience. Cardinal rule of all successful speakers(politician or not) - know your audience. Do preprogram interviews; talk to someone that can give you insights as to what it is like to walk in their shoes. Different regions, countries, ethnic groups, economic groups all may have their own unique perspectives.

Dressing like image doesn't matter. Building trust and credibility is all about image. In case you haven’t noticed, during election campaigns there’s an abundance of blue(trust) and red(power) ties being worn by the male candidates. This is not just coincidental.

Teacher's image - Setting the example

2006-06-13T15:08:00.000-07:00

There has been growing concern regarding teacher's clothing and appearance in the workplace. Because it’s often hard to tell the teacher from the student, more and more schools are designing teacher dress codes to give direction.

In the words of one teacher: "I believe if you want to be known as a professional, you need to dress and act like a professional." Makes sense. It sounds simple. Yet, somewhere along the way society has wooed us into thinking that our appearance isn't that important, as long as its 'fun', trendy and comfortable (part of the ‘me-only mindset). As a result, it's sometimes really easy to cast our self-discipline and pride out the window. After all, we're all crunched for time and just doing the best we can. Or are we?

Teachers are not the only ones who are struggling with this issue. Businesses today are pulling their hair out with dress code issues. One of my clients is a CPA firm. They felt that due to a lack of professional attire on the part of associates, they had stopped inviting associates into their meetings with their high level clients. These meetings were seen by management as a coveted training ground for upcoming leadership within the firm. In addition, they felt the professional image of their firm was at stake -- affecting bottom lines.

I believe the current trends have taken us down a road which has produced a state of
casual indifference for many. Casual indifference has a domino effect that becomes detrimental to the student, and ultimately our society. Indifference is a state of lacking in motivation, inspiration or integrity. We already know that when knowledge of the English language was comparable, immigrants more often aced the ACT test while middle class children of college graduate parents pulled C’s and D’s – with the determined difference between the two groups being motivation – or the lack of it. University of Pennsylvania researchers suggest that the reason so many U.S. students are ‘falling short of their intellectual potential’ results from their failure to exercise self-discipline”.

Studies say that people will remember what they see three times longer than what they hear. What does that mean for the teacher? It means that how one looks sends a message loud and clear. One's image declares a ranking of values, pride and self-discipline. (Aren't these the same things we are trying to instill into the students?) It means that one's impact as a teacher relies significantly on how the teacher is perceived. And, it means if one wants to create an atmosphere of respect, raise the bar on results-based teaching and on the teaching profession as a whole, one might want to take heed.

At a school district where I presented an in-service on my Power of a Professional Image program, the attendees were intrigued with all th that can impact our roles in a big way: i.e. Importance of color; verbal and nonverbal ways a person can be more powerful; how to compliment your behavior style by attire choices for maximum effect; ways to be professional in a casual world—inexpensively, ways to send different messages to different grade levels, etc. etc. (It was interesting to note that even the coaches hung around afterwards with questions.)
So save the flip flops for the weekends. Generation-Y needs role models instilling pride, respect, and self-discipline. This sets the tone for achievement--and in the teaching profession, that's a good thing!

D. Kinza Christenson, The Performance Pro
Author of Book: 193 Survival Tips for a Professional Image
Keynote Speaker * Trainer
800-575-6817

LOVE IN THE WORKPLACE

2006-05-30T16:54:00.000-07:00

All other things being equal, studies show that pay is not the most important thing to employees. It is the feeling of being appreciated, wanted and, yes, even loved. Did I say “love” ?? Since when did we ever think of love when it comes to the people we do business with?!
It is amazing to me that we make some things so difficult. Take Customer Service
for example. If we put it into the basic concept of love, it becomes pretty simple. It’s the same with sales, or inside relationships. According to the Webster dictionary love is:
unselfish, loyal, and benevolent concern for another. When we react to others with love, we are in essence saying we care about you, we want to help you. In sales there’s a saying “Everyone wants to buy, but no one wants to be sold to”, when you keep in mind that you are providing a service out of concern for another—it no longer becomes the traditional pressured selling.
Employers today who are the most successful at employee retention and growing their
business, are those who use the basic concept and understand the power of love. These
are the companies who recognize their employees as individuals, nurture their spirit, and
help them to succeed.
Tim Sanders, a Yahoo Senior executive, speaks out his belief in a recent Fast Company
article on the subject. According to Tim, “: Love is the act of intelligently and sensibly sharing your knowledge, networks and compassion with your business partners. Be as human as you can and find the courage to express genuine emotion in the world of work.” This is a refreshing viewpoint to be found in a magazine read predominately
by Generation-X. In his book On Caring, Milton Mayeroff, describes love as the selfless promotion of the growth of the other.
The key that makes this work, is the fact that this must done with a sincere concern for the well being of your employees. If there is no sincerity it doesn’t work. When done with sincerity, you will be positioning yourself in a position of respect. It will ultimately come back to you ten-fold.
Most of us possess a basic protective tendency to take what we know, hoard it and hide it somewhere safe under lock and key—lest anyone else should benefit from the same
knowledge. We do that out of our own insecurities. We think if we keep all this knowledge, it makes us more special, it sets us apart. And in actuality it does just that—it sets us apart, but not the way we had intended. This practice sabotages the very thing we were trying to accomplish in the first place -- the perception of our value and importance.
All the knowledge in the world doesn’t mean anything, until you share it with others.
Open your door. A seemingly ‘safe’ way to manage a company is to keep your door closed and go about your business – and believe it or not there are still those that do just that. This sends a loud clear message that management is unapproachable and basically nutures a “I don’t care really about you” culture. The negative undertones of this type of management can sabotage organizational goals.
Depending on the type of work culture you are instilling, your employees may find this practice of love easy or difficult. To create a more motivating work culture, put love is at the pulse of your company and watch the benefits multiply. How to get started?

· Have an Open door policy – and keep the door open!
· What can you do for them?
· Let them know you are there to help them succeed any way you can
· If you need to lay people off, let them know you will help them in getting
another position in any way you are able.
· Be an advocate of your employee. Don’t blame. Approach the situation as one
who is there to help. “What do we need to do to improve the situation?”
· Do not take things personally
· Consider the benefits of improving your own communication skills. Joining a local Toastmasters Club or hiring a personal coach may reap big benefits to your management success.
Remember the power of love.

A certain magic happens when you help others to fly,
their wings lift you up.”

D. Kinza Christenson, The Performance Pro
Keynote, Banquet Speaker & Trainer
262-567-6817 * www.kinza.net
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At www.kinza.net

BEWARE OF THE BACK STABBER

2006-05-23T08:37:00.000-07:00

Every once in awhile, there appears someone in our life who can be hurtful, and downright mean. This is the person, perhaps a coworker, who is all smiles and friendly when they are with you, but the minute you turn your back, you get it. He shares a confidence you shared, may repeat things you said or talk to your boss or your other coworkers about you. While you suspect is happening, often a true friend will confirm and alert you to the fact that this is happening.

Realize that usually this is an individual who is focused 100% on his own agenda and is probably dealing with some fears, insecurities, or anger-- and he doesn’t care who he has to hurt to reach his own goals. Unfortunately he can seriously damage your reputation along the way – say nothing about your feelings and performance. So, what can you do?

1. If the individual’s behavior is observed and experienced by others, join forces. Propose a plan that you join forces in. The next time the Backstabber says something about ‘Sharon’ who is not present; those who are present can respond: “I’m sure Sharon had good intentions;” or, “I would hope that no one would ever really think that way” or “I just don’t care to listen to your negative judgments anymore.” When the Backstabber realizes he has no allies to fuel his venom, it may stop him in his tracks.

2. If you determine you are on your own. Avoid him. When you can’t avoid him, watch what you say. Do not share your opinion or any information that could be used to sabotage you.

3. Find a private opportunity with the back stabber when you can confront him. You just need a few moments. Set you emotions aside and remain composed-- don’t show anger or make a threat. Then look him in the eye and say, “Don’t ever do that again.” Backs tabbers will usually plead innocence, just expect it. Simply restate your position. “Don’t ever do that again.” You will be sending the message that you will not tolerate this type of behavior.

4. Keep documentation of the things he does. It may come in handy one day.

5. If the behavior continues or you feel it is affecting your performance, you need to talk with your supervisor. Give him specific instances. Explain what the Backstabber’s strategy has been with you and why you are distancing yourself from him. He may or may not already know, but having your insight may prompt a solution. At the very least he will appreciate having a better understanding of what is going on.

The Performance Pro

2006-02-13T15:12:00.000-08:00

Making it Happen in 2006

With the advent of the New Year and all of its promise, I think it’s important we do a little self-evaluating on where it is we are going and what exactly it is that we hope to accomplish in 2006. How will our life be different? Do we want it to stay the same or are there things we want to improve on? It’s been said that the most valuable human resource is the desire for improvement. Yet, too often year after year, we find excuses for why we didn’t reach our goals. Worse yet, we don’t even set goals or think about the potential that lay before us in the coming year. We procrastinate, we blame, and we use just about every excuse we can think of to put our ‘dreams’ off.

Holding onto negative things that happened in the past is real dream killer. In dwelling on the negatives, finding the excuses for not stepping into the future can come pretty easily. We tend to limit ourselves with which some call “stinkin thinkin." Some of the most used excuses we use are:

--I’ve never done it before.
--I’m not ready for that yet.
--I’m doing all right without it.
--I tried it once and it didn’t work.
--It costs too much.
--That’s not my responsibility.
--It’s all someone else’s fault.
--I could ever do that.
--I’m not good enough.
--It won’t work anyway.

If you find you have been guilty of any of these thoughts, the advent of a New Year provides you the opportunity to wipe the slate clean and start being all that you can be. Zig Ziegler once said “If you want something you’ve never had before, you have to DO something you’ve never done before.”

If your goals. or the goals of those you care about, involve health choices such as eating, smoking, drinking or exercise, download our FREE Life Choice Contract from our website: www.kinza.net to use as an aid in choosing a healthier life.

In thinking about professional goals, you may have ideas on how to increase employee retention or want to prepare for an expected job opening. Whether it is how to reduce the conflict and managing your team better, or setting personal life goals, consider this alternative: Make a list of the changes you would like to see this year. Then, with enthusiasm and optimism, ask yourself “Why Not?” And then get busy gathering the information you need to proceed.

Follow up with these steps for reaching personal goals:
1. Visualize your goal as if it already exists 2. Share your goals with people who belief in you and will support you.
3. Make a step by step Plan of Actions.
4. Review progress monthly.
5. Never, never give up.

Goals are accomplished one small step at a time, with persistence and a belief in yourself
The Reverend Billy Graham reminded us so eloquently to stop procrastinating and act on those things we dream of when he was asked what was the one greatest lesson he has learned in all of his years. He did not recite scripture or in-depth theological beliefs. He simply said: “The brevity of life.”

May you greet this New Year with enthusiasm and determination to develop the potential that 2006 holds for you.

D. Kinza Christenson, The Performance Pro
(262) 567-6317
Keynotes * Training * Conference Weaver
Send questions to Kinza@Kinza.net
Sign up for free Keys for Success newsletter at www.kinza.net